Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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