TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize