I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
