Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
