look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
