one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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