Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
