home. puking in laundry basket.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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