Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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