she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Randomize
