My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
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He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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