i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
