Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
