I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
