I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
