the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
