You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
