Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
