her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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