Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize