haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
