Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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