but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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