In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
