Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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