I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
