I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
