check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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