His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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