your room smells of hookers.
And success
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
