He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
