It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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