I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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