It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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