If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
