wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It was a blind-side dick pic.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize