What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
