when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
