8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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