hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
