A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
