I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Randomize
