Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
