are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize