You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Is Oprah even human
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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