He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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