I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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