On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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