I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
