I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
