I can't watch pbs sober anymore
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
