I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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