I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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