they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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