After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she looked like the before picture.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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