If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
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