Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
