I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
