Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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