i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
