I am midnight drunk by noon
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
